


Adult Conversations

by emynn (orphan_account)



Series: An Adult Christmas [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Christmas, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-14
Updated: 2013-12-14
Packaged: 2018-01-04 14:27:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1082095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/emynn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry and Severus are dating. Ron is upset. Of <i>course</i> they can discuss this like mature, rational adults.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Adult Conversations

**Author's Note:**

> Written for adventdrabbles 2013 Prompt 13: [Santa Claus g-string](http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v650/1Alisanne1/large_untitled-2_zps8bff6dfd.jpg)

Harry swirled his wine in his glass.

Ron scowled at nobody in particular.

Hermione cleared her throat.

And Severus sat with his arms crossed over his chest, a look of utter boredom upon his face.

“Well, this is just silly,” Hermione said. “We’re all adults. We can engage in a civil conversation.”

Severus raised an eyebrow, silently sending an unmistakable message of “oh really?”

“So,” Hermione began, her voice determined but hesitation plain in her face. “Did you and Severus do anything interesting today?”

“Not really,” Harry said. “Quiet day. Severus was running errands, I did laundry.”

“That’s nice,” Hermione said. “Isn’t it, Ron?”

Ron grunted.

Never one to give up on a fight, Hermione charged on. “Harry, Ron was telling me you’ve started a new interesting case. How is it going?”

It was a stupid question, since Harry had just seen Hermione for lunch two days ago and told her all about it, and he was certain Ron had told her even more. Still, Harry had to admire Hermione for trying. Merlin knew this evening was not going well. “No new developments, I’m afraid. Kingsley is still working to assemble the full team.”

Conversation once again came to a halt. After all, Harry and Ron were on the case together, and each of them had already told their partner all about it. There was simply nothing else to be said. 

Except, perhaps…

“Listen, I’m sorry, Harry, but this is just too bloody weird.”

All eyes turned to Ron, who began pacing around the room.

“This is _Snape._ Snape, remember him? Our former professor? Got his jollies torturing us in school? Was a bloody _Death Eater_?”

“He’s a hero,” Harry snapped, rising to his feet. “He saved all of our fucking lives and nearly died himself, something even you acknowledged before you found out we were dating. But if you’re going to be like this, you can feel free to bloody leave.”

“Oh, no,” Severus said. He stood behind Harry, resting a protective hand on his shoulder. “Do let Weasley continue making a fool of himself. I could do with a good laugh.”

“Seriously, Harry?” Ron asked, throwing his hands in the air. “Of all the men in the world, _this_ miserable bastard is the one you choose to be with?”

Harry rubbed the bridge of his nose. This was exactly what he’d been afraid would happen. Ron, predictably, had not taken well to Harry finally revealing the identity of the man who had stolen his heart over the past few months. He had thought it would be best to give Ron some time to cool off, but Hermione insisted they needed to get it all out of Ron’s system as early as possible. “Shock therapy,” she called it.

From the way things were going, they’d all likely need therapy soon enough.

“Ron, you’re being rude,” Hermione said in a hushed voice. “Now apologise.”

“Why should he apologise?” Severus asked. “He’s only insulting his supposed best friend on his choice of lover in his own home. There’s nothing petty or juvenile about that. No, no, he’s perfectly within his rights to be a selfish –”

“That’s enough, Severus,” Harry said quietly. He knew Severus was only outraged on his behalf, but he didn’t want to actively make things worse with Ron. Severus squeezed his shoulder, and Harry was relieved by the small gesture of support. The last thing he needed was Severus feeling insulted as well.

“I just don’t see how –“

“This is all so –”

“Harry is –”

The sound of bells jingling filled the air and silenced the room. Harry glanced over and saw his pet cat saunter into the room, something red and white dangling from his mouth.

“Oh, Milo,” he said, hurrying towards him. “Did you get into the laundry again?”

“Perhaps the cat can wait for another time,” Severus said. “It’s not every day we have such a spectacle in the living room. I would hate to miss it in favour of watching a cat with a sock in his mouth.”

“Yeah, well, you weren’t here the last time Milo decide to eat a sock,” Harry said, tugging at the objected that Milo stubborn refused to release. The bells on his collar jingled even more furiously. “No way I’m going through that again.”

Ron grinned. “Crookshanks was the same way. Found her sleeping in our laundry basket more than once.” He glanced closer. “Although I don’t think that’s…” His voice trailed off.

“What is -- _oh_ ,” Hermione said. “Well, isn’t that something.”

Harry finally yanked the object free… and immediately began to think it would have been a better idea to just let Milo swallow the damn thing. For it was certainly no sock.

No, rather it was a red g-string with Santa’s face on the front, complete with a fuzzy white beard.

“Oh, God,” he muttered. “This is humiliating.”

Milo licked his paw.

“Well, once again, we’re all adults,” Hermione said primly. “No sense in getting all worked up over some underwear. Milo was likely just… curious. It does seem to be an interesting material, after all.”

“We all know what they say about curiosity and cats,” Severus said drily. 

For a long moment, the only sound was the grandfather clock ticking the seconds away.

Then, Ron snorted.

Then chuckled.

Then full on guffawed.

“I’m sorry, mate,” he said, his face red. “But you have to admit that’s rich. Invite your best friend over to warm him up to your new boyfriend, and end up showing off your naughty skivvies. No sense in doing things by halves.” He wiped tears of mirth from his eyes. “You know, I never pegged you for the g-string type.”

Severus crossed his arms. “What makes you think that belongs to Harry?”

Ron stopped laughing, and all the colour drained from his face. “Oh, dear sweet Merlin,” he whispered, sliding into a chair.

Harry couldn’t help it; he laughed. He laughed until he was nearly doubled over, trying to catch his breath. Merlin, this _would_ happen. How fucking absurd could this evening get? When he finally managed to gather some control over himself, he looked up, only to see everybody else had joined in laughing. Well, Severus was silent, but he looked so amused by the situation that he may as well have been.

Still chuckling, and now grinning ear to ear, Harry wrapped an arm around Severus’ waist and rested his head on his shoulder. Severus glanced over at him, his eyes warm, and kissed the top of his head.

“This is certainly an interesting turn of events,” Severus murmured. 

“Yeah,” Harry agreed. “Though I’m a little worried about what happens after the laughter stops.” He looked back over at Ron, whose laughs had slowed to the occasional giggle.

“I don’t get it, mate,” Ron said. “I just don’t. But…” He glanced down at the g-string still dangling from Harry’s hand. “Clearly there’s a lot I don’t know about Snape. But I guess it wouldn’t kill me to find out some more. For your sake.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure of that,” Severus drawled. “You do realise curiosity’s lethal side effects do not pertain solely to felines.”

Ron’s mouth dropped open. “I… he… didn’t we…”

“That’s his sense of humour, Ron,” Harry said quickly. “Isn’t that right, Severus?”

Severus smirked. 

Harry rolled his eyes. “It is,” he assured Ron.

Ron still looked suspicious, but he nodded. “All right.”

“See, isn’t this wonderful?” Hermione said, smiling. “I told you it would all work out.”

Harry leaned into Severus once more, pleased to feel Severus pull him even closer. 

Yes, _somehow_ , it all would.


End file.
